Search engine terms

Once you’ve written a blog for a while, you get a certain amount of traffic via search engine terms. My WordPress stats page shows me the terms whereby some people land on one of my posts. Most of the time these are phrases or names like “Checkpoint Charlie soldier” or “Dora Dueck writer” or “Mennonites in Bolivia” or “David Ewert” or “Edmund Janzen.”  Occasionally, however, they have me scratching my head at the thought processes of search engines (and that brought you here?) or they amuse me. It’s a slow day in my corner of the blogosphere, so I thought I’d share some of the latter (I’m not making these up!), and have a little fun with them. The search engine term appears in bold; my response is in italics.

pens in a mug
it’s the writer’s cider and really quite delicious once you develop a taste for it, though I recommend a few swirls in a powerful blender first

emcee a mennonite funeral free for all
ah, Freiwilliges, you mean, that time after the Zwieback and cheese and Platz and coffee at the funeral lunch, at Mennonite funerals at least, when people are freely- invited to the mic to share their unrehearsed, spontaneous memories of the deceased…. These can be wonderful times, but tricky too, and I understand where a novice emcee might be nervous and why this might raise fears of a wild free for all… I’ve heard things said in Freiwilliges (free willies, we call them in English) about the departed that will probably not comfort the family, and speeches that go on and on, not about the deceased, but about the speaker and what they did with and for the deceased, how they visited, sang, blessed… oh please, just sit down already

ads with figures of speech
some ads are so brilliantly written, they’re almost literature

hitchens is a fool
yes, I believe I’ve heard that before — but does he exist?

why do mennonite boys wear overalls?
it’s their version of an apron

stories about borrowing things
that, in a manner of speaking — loosely speaking, that is — is what this blog is all about

short stories about bones
not literally, though, not here, but let me re-direct you to Ezekiel (37): “in the midst of the valley which was full of bones…very dry… there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone…”

is it true Mennonites don’t use anything
for what?

how does the walrus obtain their energy
oh, oh, someone’s doing a science project, and let me guess, it’s due tomorrow… brings back memories… no Google in the days when our kids were doing their projects…  they’d pick their topics and we’d head off to the library to look for books, only to discover that someone else with the same topic had gotten there first and taken them all… no, I can’t say I miss the trauma of those parent-child outings… as for the walrus? no idea

married a mennonite
me too

borrowing of long bones
long, short, fat, thin, nearly invisible — here at the charnel house we borrow them all

flower bed overhead
what one earthworm might say to another

book tunnels
tunnel books, I think that should be (see an example, here, by Ruth Maendel), but then again, I know what you mean… book tunnels, those massive tomes that start so good they get you in and then you’re in too far to quit and you can’t turn around but there’s other work to be done such as laundry and the novel you’ve started writing (not reading) and 300 pages to go and no light to be seen at the end of it … oh dear, looks like I’ll be reading through the night again…


Looking, arms open

I’ve been reading Why I Wake Early, a book of new poems by Mary Oliver, though reading isn’t quite the right word for poems. It’s more like listening — like listening to music, and going back to listen again. There’s so much happiness in Oliver’s writing, such close and startling observation, and then plain-talk expression of it. This fragment from “Where Does the Temple Begin, Where Does it End?” describes her stance toward the world:

I look; morning to night I am never done with looking.

Looking I mean not just standing around, but standing around
as though with your arms open.

Yesterday our daughter sent the photograph below, taken while snowshoeing on Mt. Seymour (B.C.) the day before, and it seemed, even at a photo’s remove, one of those places for long, arms-open looking. No the sun isn’t shining, but it’s the trees that matter, so lean they are and lovely, bearing all the snow they can bear, dressed up for the Christmas party. Can’t you just see them at night, swaying a little in praise? 

In another fragment of the same poem, Mary Oliver says,

And now I will tell you the truth.
Everything in the world
comes.

At least, closer.

And, cordially.

So if we do our part, open our arms, we’ll be met halfway.

(If you’re interested, here’s a place to read Mary Oliver’s poetry online and here’s her Wiki-bio.)

Photo by C. Dueck. (Thanks!)

My story of human agency

In his fine analysis of material things and human agency in Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry into the Value of Work (which I talked about here), Matthew B. Crawford says:

It is characteristic of the spirited man [sic] that he takes an expansive view of the boundary of his own stuff–he tends to act as though any material things he uses are in some sense properly his, while he is using them–and when he finds himself in public spaces that seem contrived to break the connection between his will and his environment, as though he had no hands, this brings out a certain hostility in him.

Crawford continues about the “angry feeling” that bubbles up in such a person as he finds himself “waving his hands under the faucet, trying to elicit a few seconds of water from it in a futile rain dance of guessed-at mudras.” This is “a kind of infantilization at work, and offends the spirited personality,” he says, and an example of consumerist material culture “disburdening” us of direct responsibility.

I remember thinking (briefly) as I read this that the man in the public washroom was perhaps a little too spirited, too easily offended, but I did appreciate Crawford’s point, and his book (and tried not to be too spirited myself about his general use of non-inclusive language throughout).

Then, last week, using a public washroom in the Toronto airport I had my own Crawfordian moments re. the connection between will and environment, except that in my case, instead of futility, the technology worked far too well. One of my earrings fell into the toilet.

Had it not been properly fastened? (I’d dressed before four that morning, to catch a very early flight out of Winnipeg — “Who booked this flight?” H. was heard to mutter as we headed for the airport.) Or, had it come loose in that “please use caution…contents may shift” business of flying?

At any rate, there was the earring, in the toilet rather than on my earlobe, and in the instant I comprehended it, I also knew I would reach into the toilet to retrieve it (I liked the sterling silver loop with its sheaves-of-wheat pattern!). As I moved to do so, there was an immediate, swift gush of water, a flush that seemed to chortle as it swept the earring irretrievably and forever away. Ahh…the automatic sensor! Grrr… (As though I had no hands! — I now regretted my hasty judgment of Crawford’s illustration as churlish and trifling.)

Well, nothing to do but move to the sink for the next stage of my ablutions. I put my purse down. Still stunned by surprise and loss, I suppose, I did so carelessly. The next thing I realized (I was removing the other earring) was that my purse had slipped into the sink, and adding insult to injury, was now getting a brisk morning shower under the tap!

None of this was terribly serious, even the earring. It wasn’t a Crown jewel after all. Back home, I told my husband the story, and that was the end of it. Until several days later, that is, when H. asked, “Did you keep the other earring?” This led me to speculate that the episode had given him an idea for my Christmas gift, to which I added agency of my own by reminding him that a local department store is closing and selling everything, including jewelry, at significant discounts.

And the moral of the story? Human agency is alive and well in our household, and all’s well that ends well. I now possess an early Christmas present of 10K white gold earrings (pictured accross from the widowed one, right) — alive and well, I say, even if it means shopping, which of course was exactly the point Crawford was not making! (Now if only someone would start selling earrings in threes.)