A gesture and a death

A gesture and a death jostle for my attention at Borrowing Bones this morningso I think I’ll let both of them be and if they illuminate one another in any way, well, so much the better.

Like so many other ‘watchers from afar’ I followed news of the papal conclave and the election of Pope Francis with keen interest, then satisfaction. It’s too early to know how, or if, he’ll manage the challenges facing the church, but media reports are full of pleasure at the signs of difference and new direction: the name, the simpler quarters, the calmer clothing (black shoes, not red), the washing (in the ritual footwashing ceremony just past) of two women’s feet as well as a Muslim’s, his warmth with people. Much of this is gesture, perhaps, though genuine gesture, it seems, and thus: so far so good. (I like Martin Marty’s take on it with an April Fools theme at Sightings.)DownloadedFile_2

One gesture on Easter Sunday was especially moving — the one where he kissed the handicapped child. The way the child embraced him in return and how he then stayed with that embrace seemed to me not so much a sign of Pope Francis’ ‘new style’ as it was an unplanned revelation of his essential spirit. (It can be seen near the end of this short news clip.)  http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/pope-francis-celebrates-easter-sunday-18848773

Then I heard that Edith Schaeffer had died Easter Sunday, at age 98. Edith and Francis Schaeffer were a kind of celebrity couple in the Christian world during my youth and early parenting years, famous not just for their ministry of L’Abri in beautiful Switzerland but also for their writings. What they gave me was the assurance I needed that religious faith could be strong intellectually and also culturally rich. I enjoyed Edith Schaeffer’s writing style, somewhat rambling but smart and spiritual and packed with ideas. What is a Family gave me metaphors for the family life we were trying to create (family is a mobile, for example), ditto The Hidden Art of Homemaking with its encouragement of small gestures that enliven acts of service (a flower on the tray, for example, alongside the soup and sandwich). And the autobiographical The Tapestry, with its much wisdom tucked into the narrative. DownloadedFile

Francis died and Edith grew older and eventually stopped writing, and then son Frank Schaeffer began writing about his parents, exposing their many faults as well as his own, and so my heroes were greatly reduced, no matter how many grains of salt I put to what he was saying. And yet, and yet, as Frank himself remarks in his tribute to his mother this weekend, she was a brilliant and marvellous woman. In the years of my early adulthood, I was hungry for models, and through her books she taught me one good thing after the other. I’m so grateful for her role in my life.

Here’s one lesson in The Tapestry, from the first hours of her honeymoon, that I’ve thought of often in the 30-some years since reading it, and have had my share of occasions to try to emulate. Edith writes of how she and Francis left the wedding festivities and stopped at a drug store to cool off with a milkshake. She was wearing an elegant white going-away suit she had sewn herself.

…then when swirling around to get off, I found that someone else’s milk shake had been spilled on the stool. My skirt was hopelessly stained with chocolate milk, ruined….that stained skirt kept going through my mind’s eye, with all the carefully hand-whipped seams and Paris-couturier type of work I’d done on it… It was a vivid first lesson..of the basic fact of relationships –that people matter more than things!…I had started to make a fuss about it, but…I stopped short and didn’t mention it again. Stopped in mid-air, so to speak, I had made a decision that was not perfectly kept in our lives together, but which was made time after time. The decision was to stop, try to recognize the total value of what was happening, and make a deliberate choice that the broken, torn, spilled, crushed, burned, scratched, smashed, spoiled thing was not as important as the person, or the moment of history, or the memory.


9 thoughts on “A gesture and a death

  1. Thanks for sending me to the Martin Marty column. Isn’t he amazing as a writer — at age 85! Just as amazing as the pope’s gestures themselves.

    Since you are looking for possible connections between the gesture and the death, I offer these morning thoughts.

    The purpose of a role model is to light our paths, even if for only a little while. We are given the gestures and the role models we need to remind us of who we are (Christians, writers, mothers, etc.) and who we can become (wiser, better, kinder, more perceptive). We will seek and find according to our lenses and our needs.

    Edith Schaeffer may look different to you now than she did years ago. But she served an important purpose in your life. Thanks be to God.

    • Thanks Shirley for making some connections! Yes, “to remind us of who we are…and who we can become.” — And you’re so right about E.S. serving an important purpose. Reflecting on that intertwining of her life and mine, realizing it was through her books, my person and her persona, as it were, where the work was hers and the gathered meaning was mine, I was grateful for people who write, and encouraged too in my own work of being a writer. Wishing you the same encouragement as a writer today!

  2. Thanks, Dora, for jogging my own memory, and Shirley for putting such an appropriate finishing touch to Dora’s post with your comment of how the gesture and the death might be connected. I too remember the Schaeffers and their writing. I was always impressed with how she put her homemaking skills and her writing together to create a beautiful work of art. I never read their son’s writing, so I still have that almost idealistic, kind of romantic feeling about them!

    As for the pope’s loving embrace of the handicapped child, the response of the child completely blew me away! It seemed as if that child was in the arms of Jesus and knew it. That image is one that will always stay with me and comfort me when I need it!

    • Thank you Elfrieda; that emphasis on making beauty in our lives is one of her best gifts. — I agree about the image of the Pope and that child; it’s going to stay with me too.

    • Hi Kelly. It would be interesting to know your reaction. Are certain books for certain times? I’m wondering which women writers are influential for younger women today.

  3. Pingback: Francis Schaeffer’s wife Edith passes away on Easter weekend 2013 Part 28 (includes pro-life editorial cartoon) | The Daily Hatch

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s