A week of bare feet, with a view

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When I woke Sunday morning, “In my bed again” to the tune of Willie Nelson’s “On the road again” was singing in my head. I’d heard the latter just a few days earlier in Mexico when my son and grandson crooned along with Straight No Chaser’s cover of the song, their fine harmonies rousing emotion within me about these two in particular, but also about my whole family with me on this holiday. It reminded me of how the bus driver started each day’s drive on my Britain tour last fall with that song too, which had made me wistful as it was more of an anthem for Helmut than for me, frankly, me never being “on the road” in quite the way he was in his work and pleasures, but I was “goin’ places that I’ve never seen” in both Mexico (we were on our way back from a day at a cenote) and Britain and he wasn’t.

A jumble of resonance in other words, waking safely back in my bed with that tune, but feeling not quite home yet, remembering my feet on cool tile, then springing up to the most wonderful view, throwing on clothes to go watch the sun rise over the ocean, cup of coffee in hand, a sight especially spectacular whenever there were clouds, and then the water shifting throughout the day from blue to teal/green. A view with the best sound effects as well: the endless crashing of the waves against the shore wall of the place we stayed, the breeze through the palms, the happy noises of conversation and children at play. BCB80F50-4BAF-4E54-9D6C-69722BEF8D98

Only one week, most of it spent in bare feet, ACFE4C7E-A60C-471E-851F-BF5AEBFEE8A9but the 17 of us had a seven-bedroom house to ourselves, along with a cook and staff, and three times a day we ate together and other than the day at the cenote we were together at the house and local beach, playing the waves, playing in the sand, playing in the pool, playing games, reading, visiting. The son with a longtime habit of a bowl of cereal for night snack found the cereal in the kitchen and thereafter, we were all doing it, in cups or bowls, every evening. Stuff like that and more.

Time is time and technically the same measure, but this was time that expanded and is now rounded into a large set of memories I’ll be treasuring a long time. I’d determined to do this event subsequent to Helmut’s death, and two years later and post Covid restrictions, it was finally possible. My personal theme for the week was gratitude, and it wasn’t hard. No, gratitude this week wasn’t hard at all.

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Me with my 10 grands, who range from age 1 to 21.

The lovely feel of blue

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Happy new year, friends!

I’m just back from three days in Winnipeg for meetings about LGBTQ2S+ inclusion in my (nearly life-long but now former) denomination — meetings I invite you to read about at John Longhurst’s blog Time to Tell if the topic interests you — and I’m sated with the good memories of it all. With how smoothly the travel went; with the smallness of the Winnipeg airport and its lovely feel of blue (probably on account of the “Aperture” sculpture there); with the sight of the Human Rights Museum while walking to it mornings. With the museum itself, such an appropriate venue for meetings on this topic. With the warm greetings from old friends. (Is there anything sweeter than to be greeted by name?) With the Open Space process and how the meetings unfolded, in a large sense of safety, listening, and conversation. With its sacred intensity. With uncertainly about outcome beyond these days that nevertheless opened into hopefulness and even awe at what can be accomplished when people come together and explore possibilities. With the experience of belonging (the operative context for me, as stated above, being former after long-time), which registered as a longing for similar safety and inclusion on behalf of others.

Not for a minute was this about me, I’m not saying that, but I am saying these days were a gift, both in a return to where I lived some four decades and to a particular kind of participation in community. I honestly don’t lament former, it’s what’s necessary and chosen, but long-time can sometimes be a pang: as in, how does one incorporate the past without undue nostalgia or glossing over reasons for no longer fitting — for leaving, that is — but with love for what was given me in the environment in which I was raised and nurtured, in which I gave in return. It’s hard to articulate except to say that I’m glad these meetings happened and very glad that I went.

–photo by Haide Wall Giesbrecht

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A walk in Toronto

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I just spent a week in Toronto with my son, daughter-in-law, and three granddaughters, and had some time now and then, while they were elsewhere, to walk. I love wandering this city. Would you care to join me?

It’s a nice crisp day, grey sky, no snow. I leave their house and walk through the nearby park where the girls often play, though it’s utterly quiet today. Imagine with me the shady green in other seasons, imagine the high happy sounds of children. I pass the Ukrainian Orthodox Cathedral with its attractive awnings and roof dome, and then the school where the younger two girls attend (the oldest has moved on to a junior high school). I head for and follow the Rail Path.

Maybe it all looks a little blah. Well, it’s winter, but there’s an energy in the air, and a sense of community. Someone commented recently that Toronto is composed of villages, and I’ve certainly noticed that spirit in the community my children have forged in this particular village. It’s one originally settled by immigrants and now full of post-immigrant families. Old and renovated and new bump against each other, and there’s a lovely messiness and diversity about it all. I climb the stairs to the pedestrian bridge over the rail lines, look down at the tracks (for Go Train, UP Express), look at downtown Toronto in the distance (though objects clothed in grey are closer than they appear), and descend the stairs on the other side, where I see some amazing art. There’s lots of graffiti here! Much of it wonderfully skilled and colourful! We all good is announced in yellow on red.

Now I’m on a commercial street. I pass a Shoppers and a large grocery store, but also a little cafe called Hula Girl and a flower shop that’s selling Christmas trees and an arts building and a film studio place. There’s lots of density here, population-wise, as the highrise residences beside me attest, so lots of traffic and people on the street. Variety, variety! (Example: yesterday on my walk I saw a guy in the near-zero temperatures in bare feet going through some kind of yogic ritual on the sidewalk.) Now a dry cleaners, a hair studio, a dentistry place, the Slovenian centre, a delicatessen, and a storefront called One Stop Shop that has its blinds drawn and is apparently not available for stopping after all. And the local subway station. I lived in Toronto for a year before my marriage and I think I could still, with just a little re-orientation and practice, find my way around this city.

I’m talking these notes into my phone as I walk and no one pays the least heed. It’s a common enough sight and it will be assumed I’m talking to someone else, not myself. I’m not gesturing wildly as I talk though, like the man who just passed me. Bishop Marrocco/Thomas Merton Catholic Secondary School, which has a greenhouse on the roof. Loblaws. A tire place. A couple of men selling flags, probably in good demand during FIFA. Ah, a Starbucks. (It’s in a former post office building.) I know, I know, Starbucks, but I’ve gotten a little too fond of their chai tea latte, so I stop for one. While I wait for my drink, I contemplate the names filling part of a wall dedicated to Black Lives Matter. Once again outside, at that corner is a quiet little spot called a peace “garden.” All the plants are more or less dead, but there’s peace also in death, right? This spot marks the indigenous origins of the area with youth art in the bricks of the circular ground.

It’s nearly 3 c’clock and the girls will soon be home from school, so I’m glad to return too and see them, but also reluctant, I confess, because, like I say, I really enjoy wandering around this place, with its mix of the rejuvenated and the run-down. Ah, this crazy beautiful city. The walk back takes me by a curious sign about seniors and a large (half) full cup painted on a building, which encourages me with its realistic optimism. There are flashing lights and sirens now, some emergency beyond my view that must be attended to. In the midst of all the noise and people, birds find rest in a row.

I circle back under the train overpass, into the residential streets, and one block after another and I’m once again — both “at home” and guest — at this welcoming door!