Do I golf?

It’s high summer, the Gulf oil spill seems to be capped, so time for something lighter here… a bit of fun. Please note, dear friends and acquaintances, that the following is an amalgam of conversations/experiences over the years; no one should feel recently or personally incriminated! 🙂

It always begins as the most pleasant, the most innocent, of inquiries, asked with so much anticipation, as if the asker and I are about to be fast-tracked into understanding one another perfectly.

“Do you golf?”

I hesitate.

I could say, “Yes, isn’t it wonderful?” and then I’d be inside, I’d be a Someone Who’s Grasped the Good-life Secret.

But where would such subterfuge get me? Next thing I know, we’d be booking a game and the truth would have to come out.

Better to admit it.

“No. No, I don’t golf.”

Following this, disappointment or even pity may hang in the air. (I guess we won’t be tight after all.)

But sometimes the asker’s hopeful enthusiasm is simply re-directed. Attempts to ferret out my reasons and then overcome them begin in earnest. (Many golfers, I’ve noticed, tend to be zealous on the game’s behalf.) Continue reading