Catch-up

Posted on June 30, 2010 by doradueck

The industrial bleakness of Baku’s Black City (above) depresses me slightly every time I come to this blog, because it reminds me of the still gushing oil spill… But Life Must On, as they say colloquially, and here it’s time to catch up.

When I first started “Borrowing Bones” last November, I commented that I don’t “use” my children in my writing much, because they have their own lives to interpret and describe, but — it being First Son’s birthday that day — I did post a baby photo of him and remarked how glad I am to be a mother. I also said that I would follow suit with the next two when their birthdays rolled around.

Daughter’s birthday falls at the end of May, and Second Son’s in the middle of June — so it’s more than high time to keep my promise. (Any parent knows you have to be fair to each child in turn, and you have to keep your promises.) So the little snapshot above is Daughter as a baby, held by her brother. Wow, they’re so cute — wish I could go back in time for a little cuddle with each of them.

And now? — Okay, just this once. Our oldest son is an engineer. He and his wife, who works as a doula and photographer (you can see her work on her blog under my “Family and Friends” list) have four children and live in Tsawwassen, B.C. Our second son just graduated (with honours, Mother inserts) from the University of Toronto’s law school. His wife is a teacher and they live in Toronto. And, they’re expecting a baby in November! Our daughter has been working here in Winnipeg for some years as an architectural technologist and living on her own, but just moved to Vancouver. She’s going to bike the summer away, as well as hike the West Coast Trail with the brother pictured above and other assorted relatives, and then see what the fall unfolds in terms of further adventures and work.

H. and I are no longer in the middle of their hearts, and that’s how it should be, but we’re still in the middle of the country, reasonably healthy and usually happy. Yesterday I enjoyed driving to Winkler, then reading from This Hidden Thing at the Winkler Public Library. H.’s huge number of tomato plants and carrots are growing well. (Tomatoes and carrots are two of his favourite foods). We’re thrilled with Paraguay’s advance to the next round of the World Cup.

And in between our thoughts flit east and west.

The company of other writers

Posted on June 24, 2010 by doradueck

William Zinsser, whose classic On Writing Well is one of the few how-to books on writing I own, states in his last post at his weekly blog column that he doesn’t hang around with writers.

He’s not “a citizen of writing.” He doesn’t join writers’ organizations, or show up at writers’ talks and panels.

Writers tend to be not as interesting as they think. What they mainly want to talk about is their own writing, and they also have a ton of grievances, their conversation quick to alight on the perfidy of publishers, the lassitude of editors and agents, and the myopia of critics who reviewed–or didn’t review–their last book.

In my humble opinion, thinking oneself more interesting than one is, wanting mainly to talk about one’s work or interests, or complaining about those who make that work a trial can be fairly consistently observed across the board of humanity. Still, for all that it smarts, his assessment of writers is probably right, even when he goes on to describe them as “one of nature’s most insecure species.” Continue reading →

Truth and Reconciliation Commission: Days Three and Four

Posted on June 19, 2010 by doradueck

Day Three, rain and more rain, all day, and the large commissioner’s tent deserted because of the sogginess and the sharing circle moved into a room at the theatre building at the Forks.

The miserable weather affected attendance and some pieces of the event had to be cancelled. I don’t know whether it’s a cultural thing or just the underlying sombre nature of the event itself lending perspective, but I didn’t hear a single complaint about it, however. I was struck by this, it seemed so unusual. The only one who mentioned the rain, in fact, was a woman in the sharing circle, and she said she was thankful because it was adding tears to the sorrow of memories. And, said another, “we have many tears to shed.”

I was happy that H. could take some time from work and come with me. I would describe to him when I came home what I was seeing and hearing these days, but it’s different actually experiencing it together. We spent several hours witnessing the sharing circle, and also watched a new play by Ian Ross called “Fabric of the Sky.” The play was about a man who had not been a good father to his son because of his residential school experiences. Then as he finally opened up about it, the gap between him and his son began to close.

The point of the play could hardly be missed and so it felt a little didactic, but still, it was well done, and the point does need emphasizing. We’d heard so much of that in the stories: as children finally learn and began to understand what their parents have gone through, they begin to understand and even forgive the ways in which they have also been damaged by their parents’ lack of love and other behaviours.

Day Four — today — and a lovely day, clear and sunny. I returned to the Forks for a few more hours of listening, this time to some conversation in the interfaith tent: “signs of reconciliation and reflecting on our experiences.” There were more than a few interesting moments here. Continue reading →